i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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