it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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