like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
