Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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