Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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