i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
