Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I need to align my fucking chakras
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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