You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
