You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
