GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
