his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
