I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
