dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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