and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
