You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
