were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
