The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
