they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
