I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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