i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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