I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
