You just made me feel so damn special
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
