So drunk its hurt
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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