I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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