Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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