He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
