I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
