Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
