I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
