i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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