Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
