I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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