she looked like the before picture.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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