so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
