There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
