you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize