Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
