And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
