How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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