Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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