i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
