My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
