I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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