How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I smell stomach acid.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
