i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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