just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
