I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize