So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize