i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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