What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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