I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Naked. naked and bneed help.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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