that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize