I feel like abortions should bother me more
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
