Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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