She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
