it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
