what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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