I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize